2008 MLB trade: Should the Boston Red Sox have traded Manny Ramirez to the LA Dodgers?

Yes

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by Rob O'Hannon

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Yes, for some very good reasons, which will be explored in detail:

1. Los Angeles deserves all the bad sports things that can happen to it.

2. Joe Torre has had it much too easy for most of his career because he's always had nice players.

3. Manny will be much happier in a place where strange people are the norm rather than the exception.

4. The Red Sox will be much better off without Bozo the Clown playing the outfield, while the LA Dodgers will just love it.

5. Baseball will be much better off with Manny in a town that doesn't take baseball or anything other than movie making seriously.

Now for the detail:

1. Los Angeles deserves all the bad sports things that can happen to it.

Let's face it; no one in the rest of the country wants any Los Angeles team to win. Thankfully the Boston Celtics put the Fakers in their place, and sports fans everywhere thanked them for it.

Why don't people want any LA sports team to win? Mainly because of the smarmy fans that go to the games. Watch any LA's teams home game and you'll see fans looking in mirrors, looking at each, looking to see whose looking at them, looking for the camera, text messaging the person in the seat next to them, writing a screenplay on their Blackberry in other words looking everywhere but at the game itself. And if they do happen to catch a glimpse of the action, you can actually hear them go "yeah!" How lame is that? At every other sports venue you can hear the crowd roar. But in LA, the go "yeah!" Which is the sound Manny hears in his head most of the time (right along with carnival merry-go-round music) as part of "The Manny Show", so LA and Manny definitely deserve each other.

2. Joe Torre has had it much too easy for most of his career because he's always had nice players.

Joe Torre has never had a hard day's baseball work in his life. And don't tell me about A-Rod, who, as long as there are hookers around, is as happy as a pig in, well, you know. Torre has spent the better part of his career managing a team where whatever he needed was bought for him. Unlike other managers who have had to develop talent, Joe has always had it handed to him on a platinum platter encrusted with diamonds. And don't tell me about his problems with Big George who, until he lost his mind, loved Torre and probably would have married him had they been opposite sexes.

So Torre finally has to deal with a player who can't hear him over the constant "Manny Show" themes playing in his head. Let's see how this great manager deals with just "Manny being Mental. Of course, Torre has probably been infected with the La La Land "who gives a crap, it's warm" mentality and will be mailing it in along with Manny.

3. Manny will be much happier in a place where strange people are the norm rather than the exception.

The ongoing freak show that is LA, and in which everyone plays a role, will provide some excellent cover for "Manny being Mental." Interestingly, if Manny decides to stay in LA his ego might force him to become normal so he would stand out in a crowd there.

4. The Red Sox will be much better off without Bozo the Clown playing the outfield, while the LA Dodgers will just love it.

Every game the Red Sox players and managers had to wait and see if Manny the Player would show up, or Manny the Clown. Not just every game, but every play became a carnival game where the wheel spun and no one could predict the results.

On the other hand the Dodgers will just love it because Manny the Clown's antics on the field might just get a few of them to actually look at the field. And since the Dodgers aren't drawing too well as a baseball team, maybe they'll draw better as a circus.

5. Baseball will be much better off with Manny in a town that doesn't take baseball or anything other than movie making seriously.

The explanation for this one is really easy who really cares about what happens at any LA sports venue? Who really cares, in particular, what happens to the LA Dodgers? Major League Baseball (MLB) feels it has to have a team in LA, but would any of us really care if they packed up and moved back to Brooklyn? (It might actually make them more interesting). And would anyone in Los Angeles come out of their cocaine-induced coma long enough to notice (for a possible answer to this see the history of the NFL in LA)? The Dodgers are the Washington Generals of baseball; they're just an opponent that fills a niche in your schedule. The phrase "Dodger Blue" is essentially correct, though misspelled.

Again it is a perfect fit for Manny, he can do whatever he wants to do and no one is going to raise a fuss, or even notice for the most part. MLB doesn't have to worry about taking action, or fining him, which would cause the Player's Association (who are as wacky, if not more so, than Manny) to get all upset. Manny can moon opposing players while he pees on the American flag and would probably be called a great artists by the Living Dead who are the residents of LA, and sell the rights for millions.

Yes, the Red Sox where right in trading Manny to LA, and did America a service when they did so. He's all yours, LA LA land.

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