When my husband and I married, we never thought we would have trouble having a baby. Neither of us had ever had any physical problems that would foretell infertility and it's not something you expect to happen. When I finished law school and we stopped trying to prevent pregnancy, we were disappointed and perplexed when nothing happened after six months and then a year of trying. The first time I visited the gynecologist to talk about it, he shocked me by saying I was too young (at 27) to start doing anything to improve my chances. I left there thinking it was none of his business if my husband and I thought it was time for us to do something.

Not long after, I visited a fertility specialist who put me through the usual battery of tests and informed me that there was nothing wrong with me. We needed to check my husband. The doctor informed us that my husband had a low sperm count, poor morphology (shape of sperm) and poor motility (movement). Naturally, we were distressed to receive this news and unhappy to hear that traditional medicine has virtually nothing to offer men with this problem. Their only fix was to make me more fertile.

We tried a round of Clomid, which made me emotionally and physically miserable. It increased my egg production so much, the doctor told us to sleep in separate bedrooms for a couple of weeks. We tried intrauterine insemination without Clomid, which also failed. At this point, my husband and I were getting battle-weary. We had not expected the emotional fatigue that results when traveling the road called "Trying to Have a Baby When the Odds Are Against You." The building anticipation after some method has been tried and the crushing disappointment when the period arrives, (sometimes on time, sometimes a couple days late), is an exhausting and infuriating cycle.

We took a little break. Actually, it was a long break. We did not go back to the fertility specialist for a couple of years. The doctors had told us that the only feasible next step was IVF. We worked through a lot of soul-searching and disagreement about whether we were willing to go that far, but eventually, we agreed we would try it.

I experienced discomfort and pain as a result of the drugs they gave me and because of the shots. Oh, the shots. The progesterone shots were the worst. I also had a hard time dealing with the constant blood draws. I suffered through many days of black and blue arms. Nonetheless, I was happy to go through

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• next page >>

---

Add your voice

Know something about Coping with the infertility roller coaster?
We want to hear your view. Write now!